Keys to Effective Leadership: Listening
Nurse Managers and other frontline healthcare leaders want to be known as the boss that everybody wants to work for. It is only natural to want to set goals that build your personal reputation and the success of your workgroup. Being a good listener is foundational to achieving your goal and here are 2 guaranteed ways to increase your listening skills
- Listen to understand
- Listen to emotions
Listen to Understand
People want to be heard and understood. When asked about the traits of their best boss, people will frequently say that it was a person who listened and at least tried to understand them. Conversely, when asked about their worst boss, they describe a person who was distant, isolated and out of touch with the needs of the individuals in the group.
The key to effective communication is effective listening. Leaders often put two barriers between themselves and effective listening: the hectic pace of the workplace and the demands on time. Both factors place the leader at risk to be distracted while talking with a member of the team. Just like the raffle at church, you have to be present to win. Somebody on your team finally has the courage to open up to you with a problem and your mind is elsewhere! Whether you’re in the hallway or in the office, value the information that each member of your team offers and give them 100% focus when they talk to you.
The second and more difficult barrier to overcome is the tendency to prepare your response while the other person is talking. I call it agenda listening. You can’t fully appreciate the message the person is delivering if you are focused on your rebuttal. Serious listening is like drilling into the mother lode. By listening to learn, you will gain insight that will elevate you as a leader. Forget about your reply and listen carefully and hear everything that is said. You don’t have to agree but you will benefit from knowing their point of view.
Points:
- Learn from listening. Appreciate the gift you are being given.
- Restate the other person’s position to ensure you both agree on what has been said.
- Encourage the person to tell you more. Build on what they say with replies like, “Tell me more about…”
- Encourage the person to clarify by asking how questions. “How can we do that?” “How will that benefit the group?”
- Avoid questions that put the person on the defensive. Asking “why did you” puts them on the defensive and looking for an explanation.
Listen to emotions
As educated professionals, we listen with an academic ear. As team leaders, we must listen to both content (actual words) and the emotion that drives the words. We like to think that we are rational beings and that the argument founded in fact will win. Not so. We also have an emotional side and emotions frequently trump logic when interacting with troubled team members. In a famous study, Albert Mehrabian noted that only 7% of what is communicated comes from actual words. Tone of voice and body language make up the other 93% of communication. Maybe that is why so many email and text messages are misinterpreted. As an effective leader, listen not only to the words but also listen to the tone and watch the body language to pick up on the emotion behind the message.
Points:
- Allow people to feel how they feel. Telling them how they should feel ends communication.
- Make open-ended statements about the emotions that you observe and listen to responses.
- “I sense that you are uneasy with this proposal”
- “You appear concerned about….”
- Welcome and encourage team members to suggest solutions.
As a leader, your greater goal is to have a cohesive and effective team where each member is valued not only for the work that they do but also for the person who they are. Listening is the foundational element to build a one on one relationship with each team member.
Thomas Davis is an experienced clinical anesthetist, leader, speaker and the owner of Frontline Team Development and Leadership.